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Networking for introverts

Updated: Feb 28, 2023

Me: I’m a neurodivergent weirdo; an introvert who happily spends 99% of my time alone or with my dog, Soda.

Everyone else: Lauren is a Superconnecter!

I tell you this to remind you anything is possible.

Superconnection to me is about building and nurturing relationships, directly and indirectly: me with x, x with y (and z and a and q, too)—and all of us relating with the bigger picture, the grand thing. The Dream, the Big Idea, the way the world gets better (at least that’s my target). Maybe that’s why I can do it comfortably, even as someone struggling with anxiety and, well, people. There's a bigger picture, and that takes the focus off me.

• • •

Talking to an old friend the other day, I marveled, “It’s so weird that people call me a superconnecter.”

They responded with a bit of a duh: “Why is that weird? That’s what you’ve always done: connect people.”

Sometimes the most obvious thing is the one we have the hardest time seeing.

Is there a skill or talent that’s been walking with you all along, so much a part of you that you've not seen its shiny glory?

It could be worth asking yourself what other people say about you, what they admire in you, what they ask you for or about. You might discover a floating and marvelous thing within you that can lift you like Superman’s cape and fly you into fulfilling skies.

Someone in a networking group last week said, ‘I see a golden path between people.’ While I respect and appreciate her woo, that’s not quite how it works for me—but I get it. I might feel a little flash, or hear a tiny internal squeal of delight when I see a way to connect two disparate things/ideas/people in interesting ways.

You see those connections too—I know you do. I really recommend following through on them, for so many reasons: You’re building relationships with anyone and everyone who's part of the links. Of course you’re also building a brand and a reputation. And most importantly, you’re building better things out in the wild wild world through collaboration.

When I see these connections, I follow them up with an email that is, ideally, irresistibly radiant and compelling. My secret method: I hold each person in my mind, seeing them at their best, in their glory. And then I share that halo with the other. I want them each to see themselves as I see them, and also to find the idea of collaborating delightful and inevitable: 'How could we not?'

With ideas about how they could cocreate great things, or support one another with words and actions, off they go along the path of success and yippee.

I do this feeling like the wizard behind the curtain, rubbing my hands together with glee as I imagine the forthcoming wonders—the wonders of connection.

So yeah, I monetized this skill—and you can profit from it too: sign up for Imperfect Connections , my networking-for-people-who-hate-the-idea-of-networking program. If you decide to work with me—and I hope you will—expect to experience connections à la Lauren: Imperfect, useful, bettering, hopeful. And learn how to see those relationships, nurture them, benefit and profit from them, and write some shimmering emails yourself.

Maybe this isn’t the time for you to participate in a 5-week program to improve your networking game. Maybe you’re already a networking ninja, stunning folks with your grace and invisible visibility. So maybe you want to connect with me about other stuff?

Tell me: What’s going on? What are you asking yourself about? What’s headlining your morning pages? (You are writing morning pages, yes? If not, there’s something we can talk about.) I’d love to connect.


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